is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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