White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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