Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
