You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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