she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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