im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
