im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
