I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
