it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
