Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
