butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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