i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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