That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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