just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Can I color on your dick again?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
