there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
