She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
