suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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