i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think i got beer on your cat.
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