fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
