I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
