May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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