Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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