i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dick very happy bro
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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