when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
