Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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