Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
