So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
