dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
