Pants 0. Shit 1.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
