what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize