I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
two words: eviction party
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
