on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
