she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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