Buhtt sex?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize