she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
