Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
