im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
