I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
