i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
