Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
