I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
