Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
