Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
