JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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