yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
