OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
her vagine was all disorganized.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
