He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Just invented taco cereal.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
