so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Randomize
