well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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