yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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