O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
