oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
