I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Someone signed my nipple.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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