did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
we have pet lesbian snakes
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
