Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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