That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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