Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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