yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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