Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
