I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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